NSA leaks

Everyone is hearing about the Edward Snowden debacle, leaking NSA secrets is big news, but one of the things I've heard about more than maybe I want to, is his girlfriend. In case you haven't heard something about her, she was a pole dancer (though, not a stripper as I understand it, but a circus type dancer). Now, don't get me wrong, I think it's interesting who he was dating, where he was living, his history, everything. But I only like that stuff because I am a natural investigative person, not because it is actually relevant to the situation.

I really just want to write about a friend of mine in relation to this whole thing. We were discussing the articles, for some reason, and his comment was "how does a guy with barely a high school degree get a pole dancer girlfriend"... ummm.. ask her out?

First off, most pole dancers are actually normal REAL PEOPLE! no way!!  I mean.. they might be in better shape than a lot of people, because that kind of thing requires a lot of muscle, but they aren't gods or anything, and I'm sure they would appreciate you not thinking they are.

Second, getting a higher degree doesn't make you a better person, and sometimes, it doesn't even help you succeed in life. In Snowden's case, he was making a lot of money, doing something he loved to do and was great at doing, and did it all without a degree. Don't get me wrong, I think education is great to have, and I love a well educated person, but if there is a person who is great at what they do and smart, they don't need an education.

Third, If you really want to date a pole dancer, and that's your goal in life, go out and date a pole dancer. Follow your dreams!

And fourth, I feel bad for that girl, she is going through a crazy possible break up and dealing with unexpected media attention all at the same time, not a position I would want to be in.

Raunch Culture

I just finished a book called "Female Chauvinist Pigs" and it was actually really good, if not a little outdated because all of the popular references were from 2004. In the book, the author discusses how the new culture of proudly displaying sexuality and "sexiness" is seen as a feminist advancement, when (in her opinion) it really isn't. I agree with her on many counts, most importantly that the porn culture, and the absolute sexualization of women is not actually a feminist freedom, men are the ones in charge of this business and much of the "sexy" stuff we do is to gain the approval of men. Women spend so much time trying to get men to notice them in a sexual way that they ignore the fact that that should not be our main goal in life.

The saddest part to me was when she recounted interviews with 16 year olds who lost their virginity to someone because "that's what {the guy} wanted". If we feel our only value is as sexual objects, we will not continue to advance as educated, dedicated members of the profitable world. I would hope that people are more comfortable losing their virginity when they are ready, rather than when their crush or boyfriend is ready, but I think that may not be the case. My cousin, at 15, already is being pressured into sexual acts by the sheer peer pressure of everyone doing it (not by one person, but by the culture) and I worry that she and many other teenagers are unhealthily sexual because of the expectations that have been laid out.

However, I do not agree that this culture is completely backwords from feminism. I think the sexualization is part of the rebellion from generations of sexual repression that we as a gender experienced (not that men didn't also experience it because of the overall culture). And I think that eventually we will simmer down and stop being so ridiculously sexually exposed. I think it is at least healthy to open discussions about sexuality and not judge someone for being sexual, but now, it has almost gotten to the point of being the other direction where people with no desire to be sexualized are considered prudes.

While I don't support forcing everyone to wear skin baring clothing or sleep with any man that thinks they are attractive, I refuse to be told what I can't wear by men who ask me out after blatantly stating they are looking for someone to marry who will have their kids because they are ready to settle down with a housewife. One of my Facebook associates recently posted a video by a female discussing the evolution of swimwear, and I actually do agree with some of what the woman says about how the newest bikinis are ridiculously skin baring (though.. not all of them are, mine certainly isn't) and how we really don't need to wear that tiny of clothing, I resent someone saying to me "modesty is a blessing". Maybe modesty isn't a blessing to me, or maybe I just really want a tan on parts of my body that have never been exposed to the sun before, but either way, I will wear the bathing suit that I want to wear, and the only time you should be allowed to tell me differently is if I'm legally not allowed to wear it (ie: sometimes topless isn't allowed) or you can bring it up as a discussion if I am in a relationship with you. And that is why I think raunch culture is so popular, no one wants to be told they must or can't wear certain clothes, and if they are told so, many of us want to do the opposite. So, pretty soon I think we will all start wearing baggy turtlenecks around in the summer, but no one should be able to tell us we can't!

(side note, this is definitely not where I thought this blog post was going, but it did!)