To ask or not to ask

This week I worked way too much on a couple days, packed all of my belongings into my bedroom (I actually have a lot more than I expected and a lot more than I feel like I should need... this will have to be remedied) and still was able to make it out to one movie in the park to grab a few of the last Chicago summer activities.

In the process of working too much I sat in a car for 8 hours on Wednesday and counted parked cars along one roadway as another woman drove up and down the street. During the trip we discussed everything from living alone, to toilet training cats, to our jobs and our boyfriends. She recently got contacted by another company which wants to offer her higher pay for her to quit her current job and move over there. Working for the same company for 4.5 years she has some loyalties, and mentioned she was reserved about leaving the company for the same type of work, even if they do offer her more money, unless it is a significant amount more. But she mentioned that the intern who rode with her for the previous few days was quick to jump on her discussing with her boss how to get a raise by telling them she would leave b/c of the higher pay.

While I can understand his automatic response, I understand her desire to stay with her company as well. Working in one company for that long you develop friendships and a comfortable work environment as well as have a connection to specific projects. But, it made me realize that the gut reactions so many articles about feminism say are correct. She is hesitant to mention the offer to her boss unless she is seriously considering it, I suggested mentioning it, and asking for a minor raise as an incentive to stay even if she doesn't actually want to take the other job. Men get paid more in the workplace because they are not as afraid, or as tentative about asking for a raise, while women are more loyal to their workplace, coworkers, and projects. This may  not be the only reason women are paid less, but it is a huge contributing factor. I think a consulting firm can afford to give a raise when an employee is in high enough demand to be receiving offers from other companies, and I think that a woman deserves a raise for just that reason, just as much as a man would. I encouraged her multiple times in the course of this conversation to at least breach the subject with her boss, and I hope that one day, if I am ever in the same situation, I will do the same.

Related to the picture, I think I need to make myself a vagina cake!

Favorite Feminist move of the day: encouraging a woman to ask for what she deserves!